The Progression of 'Unchecked' Desires
"What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God." - James 4:1-4
This passage, to me, seems to be one of the most black and white passages in all of Scripture. James is asking this incredibly strong rhetorical question: Why do you fight? What causes competition among you, Christians? Why does all of mankind seek to overtake one another? Why is there anger and hatred in the very relationships that should be marked by peace and fellowship?
Because of your desires!
You want something and you do not have it. Therefore, you begin your personal conquest to attain what it is you so dearly desire without giving a second thought to those around you or the situations you are in.
This sounds harsh, but when I read this I feel the exhortation: "Danny, your desires are at war inside of you. Your passions are in a battle. You are 'lured and enticed by [your] own desire. [When your] desire has concieved [it] gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.'"(James 1:14-15)
So how does this happen? By no means is the following progression a cut and dry answer as to exactly how all of this happens, however I believe that this can be a great tool to evaluate ourselves and our desires.*
Desire - not bad in and of itself, but can become something bad if not held with open hands before God.
Demand - as soon as we decide to close our fists around what it is we desire, it then becomes a demand.
Need - after a desire becomes a demand it easily becomes a need; it becomes something that you view as necessary to life (to have meaning, to be happy, to be satisfied, etc.)
Expectation - If we become so convinced that this desire is truly essential and necessary to life, then it seems to become right to expect this desire to be fulfilled. "If I need this to live, then obviously I ought to expect it if I expect to live."
Disappointment - If this desire has reached the point of becoming an expectation, viewed as something to be expected because of it's necessity for life, and ends up not being fulfilled you are left with disappointment. Disappointment and discouragement because you think that life can no longer be lived to the fullest in the absence of this desire.
Punishment - Becuase a desire has become seen as an expectation, yet is currently a disappointment, becuase what you hoped for did not happen, you begin to feel hurt. You want revenge because you feel as if what you deserve and need for life has been withheld from you. This could lead to what we see in James, retaliation against others.
So there's the progression. There is the slippery slope that leads to destruction both individually and potentially for others as well. Lecrae famously quotes it in his song "Killa", saying "my sin conceived a baby, and we gon' name it death."
How do we know if we are in danger of this?
There are four simple questions that you can ask yourself to better determine if a desire is ruling your heart.**
1.) Has this desire for someone/something become greater than my desire for God?
2.) Have I been willing/am I willing to commit sin in order to gain this object of my desire?
3.) Has the object of my desire consumed my thoughts, emotions, and/ore actions?
4.) Am I willing to sin if this desire is not met?
What hope is there?
First of all, I would say that the questions above ought to be thought about daily for the individual, but also questions made available to close people in the life of an individual who can ask these hard questions. Our relationships ought to be the context of Godly change in our lives.
James 4:6-10 explains to you what God is willing and able to do to help in these battles.
- God gives more grace.
- God gives grace to those who are humble.
- God will draw near to you when you begin (even try) to draw near to him.
- God will exalt you if you would humble yourselves.
This battle/struggle should come as no surprise to us. Ephesains 2 informs us of our former nature; that we all "once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath." However, we can be made alive to righteousness in Christ.
When we draw near to God we draw near to Christ; we draw near to the throne of grace. In Christ all of mankind can be made alive, and when made alive, be given the Holy Spirit. This Spirit is the very Spirit of God, himself.
To have received the Holy Spirit is to not be a "friend of the world" and thus, "an enemy of God." Rather, you are an adopted child of God. God has "blessed [all his people] in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places."
Therefore, the encouragement is this:
Test your desires! They are at war within you.
Involve other people who can speak Truth into your life! We cannot do all of this alone.
Remember the Gospel! Remember that you have been saved. Remember that you no longer have to live for this world. Know that in Christ there are blessings far greater than what this world can offer, and you are promised to recieve them in Christ.
* - chosen from Paul Tripp
** - chosen from Dr. Wade (Counseling Professor, SEBTS)
This passage, to me, seems to be one of the most black and white passages in all of Scripture. James is asking this incredibly strong rhetorical question: Why do you fight? What causes competition among you, Christians? Why does all of mankind seek to overtake one another? Why is there anger and hatred in the very relationships that should be marked by peace and fellowship?
Because of your desires!
You want something and you do not have it. Therefore, you begin your personal conquest to attain what it is you so dearly desire without giving a second thought to those around you or the situations you are in.
This sounds harsh, but when I read this I feel the exhortation: "Danny, your desires are at war inside of you. Your passions are in a battle. You are 'lured and enticed by [your] own desire. [When your] desire has concieved [it] gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.'"(James 1:14-15)
So how does this happen? By no means is the following progression a cut and dry answer as to exactly how all of this happens, however I believe that this can be a great tool to evaluate ourselves and our desires.*
Desire - not bad in and of itself, but can become something bad if not held with open hands before God.
Demand - as soon as we decide to close our fists around what it is we desire, it then becomes a demand.
Need - after a desire becomes a demand it easily becomes a need; it becomes something that you view as necessary to life (to have meaning, to be happy, to be satisfied, etc.)
Expectation - If we become so convinced that this desire is truly essential and necessary to life, then it seems to become right to expect this desire to be fulfilled. "If I need this to live, then obviously I ought to expect it if I expect to live."
Disappointment - If this desire has reached the point of becoming an expectation, viewed as something to be expected because of it's necessity for life, and ends up not being fulfilled you are left with disappointment. Disappointment and discouragement because you think that life can no longer be lived to the fullest in the absence of this desire.
Punishment - Becuase a desire has become seen as an expectation, yet is currently a disappointment, becuase what you hoped for did not happen, you begin to feel hurt. You want revenge because you feel as if what you deserve and need for life has been withheld from you. This could lead to what we see in James, retaliation against others.
So there's the progression. There is the slippery slope that leads to destruction both individually and potentially for others as well. Lecrae famously quotes it in his song "Killa", saying "my sin conceived a baby, and we gon' name it death."
How do we know if we are in danger of this?
There are four simple questions that you can ask yourself to better determine if a desire is ruling your heart.**
1.) Has this desire for someone/something become greater than my desire for God?
2.) Have I been willing/am I willing to commit sin in order to gain this object of my desire?
3.) Has the object of my desire consumed my thoughts, emotions, and/ore actions?
4.) Am I willing to sin if this desire is not met?
What hope is there?
First of all, I would say that the questions above ought to be thought about daily for the individual, but also questions made available to close people in the life of an individual who can ask these hard questions. Our relationships ought to be the context of Godly change in our lives.
James 4:6-10 explains to you what God is willing and able to do to help in these battles.
- God gives more grace.
- God gives grace to those who are humble.
- God will draw near to you when you begin (even try) to draw near to him.
- God will exalt you if you would humble yourselves.
This battle/struggle should come as no surprise to us. Ephesains 2 informs us of our former nature; that we all "once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath." However, we can be made alive to righteousness in Christ.
When we draw near to God we draw near to Christ; we draw near to the throne of grace. In Christ all of mankind can be made alive, and when made alive, be given the Holy Spirit. This Spirit is the very Spirit of God, himself.
To have received the Holy Spirit is to not be a "friend of the world" and thus, "an enemy of God." Rather, you are an adopted child of God. God has "blessed [all his people] in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places."
Therefore, the encouragement is this:
Test your desires! They are at war within you.
Involve other people who can speak Truth into your life! We cannot do all of this alone.
Remember the Gospel! Remember that you have been saved. Remember that you no longer have to live for this world. Know that in Christ there are blessings far greater than what this world can offer, and you are promised to recieve them in Christ.
* - chosen from Paul Tripp
** - chosen from Dr. Wade (Counseling Professor, SEBTS)
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